New years goals

1.  Be socially confident
I am worth knowing, i'm kind and a good friend.
2.  Workout variety
Strength comes in being well rounded
3.  Be present
Life happens off of social media

my Taylor swift song

One thing i'm jealous about it how she uses music as her diary, and they can be deep but so vague at the same time.  I wonder if i could do that?

The wall keeps moving up, climbing
the routine points out the steps, 10,000
Side slide into peace, into new and
forest
admittance one, just 1,000 thoughts
breaths and heartbeats, 50 at a time
close my eyes and I'm
forest

Green and blue, look up its rhyming
Nothing to get back to, no climbing

Success is just over the hill of failure

I found a really good quote before my last marathon in October, it was from the runners world instagram and it goes: "Many of life's failures are people who didn't realize how close they were to success when they gave up."  -Thomas Edison

Isn't it so true that we give up when its getting hard?  Usually near the end of what we started?  We don't give up in the beginning, when its easy, we give up when we are close to success, its a decision.  In pain or struggle, of course the logical thing we tell ourselves to do is quit.  In a mile, its maybe that last minute, in that race its usually the dead zone before seeing the end and having gone so far into the pain cave.

I really loved this quote because it spoke to me, right before setting off on a marathon that i KNEW was going to be hard to finish.  I had to make that decision ahead of time to not let the little voice in my head make the decisions about when I had "nothing left".  I wasn't going to listen to it when it told me I was slowing down and success was not possible.  These times came up around mile 22.  I wasn't going to be a failure though, I was going to know that I was close, that I was SO close and that stopping or slowing down would feel worse than continuing in my very uncomfortable state.

Now, a few months later as I'm training again, I'm not going to let myself talk me out of what I can do.  I won't sell myself short because success is right after the hill of failure, you just have to claw your way over it!

You made the mess

I like to write about things I'm passionate about and boy oh boy does this make me feel a sort of way!  Accountability my friends, has gotten lost somewhere in the 90's and hasn't shown its face since.  Corbin and I talk about this ALL the time because it seems like everyday we run into a problem where someone didn't hold up their end of a deal and we have to suffer the consequences.

Let's go back to when we all used to call each other back.  Now I know I'm quite terrible at this sometimes (sorry Jo) but we're talking about when we were kids and the phone rang on the wall.  you're older sibling answered it, shocked you were getting a phone call and not them, and they gave it to you.  Your friend wanted to play, you didn't really want to because your family just set up the trampoline for the summer and you wanted that bad boy all to yourself.  Luckily your mom is gone and so you have an excuse, "I have to ask my mom", you say, "I'll call you back when she gets home".  Now, the easy thing to do would be to go out and jump on that trampoline pretending you were Zena princess warrior for hours and not call your friend...but you do, you DO call them back because you were taught it was rude to leave someone hanging like that.

Then It was Jr. High and you left your super important history assignment at home.  You freak out for a minute but then remember you have history after lunch and you can call your mom on the school pay phone and ask her to bring it to you. "I'm saved!" you tell your friends.  You take our your quarters and give your mom a call.  Through the loud noise that is Jr High kids at lunch you hear her say, "sorry, you should have put it in your backpack last night so you wouldn't forget".  And that's that, you're not saved.  You bring it the next day and get 10 points taken off and you're mad at your mom but deep down inside you know its your own fault.

Now you're an adult and problems are bigger and scarier than ever but guess what, if you make a mistake or just want to refuse to deal with something, you can always blame someone else and hide!! RIGHT???  This is such a problem!  have you heard these before?: "its the governments fault", "I'll just use my credit card", "I'm just so busy that i dont have time to be healthy", "sorry I didnt make it, was that last night?"

We hear about this being the privileged generation, guess where that comes from?  Not showing by example or teaching correctly the principals of accountability.  Mean what you say, keep obligations, answer for yourself.  You made the mess, not anyone else.